Body Language Speaks Louder Than Words!

Previously, I was sharing on the importance of being a good listener and this time it will be about body language which particularly most of us would apply in our everyday life. Body language could also mean nonverbal communication that we use to deliver messages that are not written, spoken or sounded with or without intention. Sometimes, we use nonverbal cues to replace word or a spoken message such as through facial expressions, eye contact, gestures, clothing and even the tone of our voices. Take a look at the picture above, the girl’s facial expression and the way she folded both her hands, it indicates that she is angry without having to say it out. According to the chart below, it shows that nonverbal inputs comprise 55% during communication.

How true do you find that when you are in anger, your body language could be seen obviously showing that you are angry? Speaking for myself, I find it very accurate. As for me, when I am pissed off with something or even with someone, I tend to be quiet as though everything is fine but my body language shows otherwise. It is noticeable because I would be frowning, my tone is different and I am acting impatiently. For instance, there are many incidents especially when I am behind the wheel where my auntie’s would confront my ways of driving and I could not agree with her comments. I shall include our conversation as written below.

Dialog between my auntie and me when I am driving:

Catherine: (Dangerously overtaking a lorry in front at the trunk road.)

Auntie: Catherine, it is not wise to overtake the lorry when you cannot see the front view clearly. It could cause accident! On top of that, it is not advisable to overtake on double-line.

Catherine: The lorry is crawling like a snail!

Auntie: You should be more patient and wait till the view is clearer before overtaking it.There is no need to rush.

Catherine: Yeah right!

Auntie: You see, say you a little bit you angry already.

Catherine: I am not angry lar! (Answering with irritating tone)

Auntie: I am just advising you, there is no need to be so reactive.

Catherine: I said I am not angry!

Auntie: But your body language shows that you are.

Catherine: (Start muttering and stepping on the accelerator to increase the speed)

Based on the conversation above, you can identify that although verbally I denied that I was not angry but my nonverbal behaviors proved to be the opposite. This again shows that body language speaks louder than words. People tend to believe more on the body language they perceive compared to the verbal messages they receive by observing somebody when communicating.

Nonverbal communication can be complicated as everyone perceives nonverbal messages with different perspective. We should learn to be aware and mindful of nonverbal messages by opening our mind and not to jump straight to conclusions. Be knowledgeable about how others communicate nonverbally as everyone comes from different culture. Lastly, learn the skills on how to send and receive nonverbal messages and incorporate them with verbal messages you are going to convey.

Enjoy these interesting Body Language Videos

Effective Listening

Hello people, hope you guys have had a great weekend. Today is Father’s day; let’s wish all fathers, HAPPY FATHER’S DAY! Too bad I wasn’t able to celebrate with my father this year as I couldn’t get anymore tickets to go home. But, I promise I will next year.

Well, here I am again to update you with the stuffs I have learnt recently. This time, it is going to be different compared to my previous posts which were kind of too factual. More of my own ideas, experiences, observations and so on would be included in. Hope you could spot the differences in my blog and tell me whether I have improved or it still remains the same old style. This post will be about effective listening.

Before I go further in detail on listening effectively, let me share some facts with you. Do you know that actually, Americans spend more than 40% of their time listening? As you can see from the chart below, listening stands the highest percentage compared to reading, speaking and writing.

I have never realized that listening could be so important. I admit I am not a very good listener. I tend to be selective with what I want to hear especially listening to talks or speeches. I have these poor habits that lead me to tune off from listening. For examples, my mind wanders off easily due to boring topics or poor deliverance from certain speakers. I would either daydreaming during the talks or pretending to be listening. BUT strangely, I could be very attentive when listening to interesting GOSSIPS.

Video Example of Bad Listener

A good listener should listen with emphatic as well as being able to appreciate messages that are delivered to the person. Emphatic listening means listening with a purpose and attempting to understand the other person. I know that to be a good listener is not easy but it is not impossible either. It takes time to practice and practice makes perfect. Plasticizing to become a good listener is something I myself still have to improve.

Want to be Good Listener? Be a TV:)

In an article that I have read recently stated that, ‘Parents today are hooked on tech tools at home for communication or for work related purposes instead of paying more attention listening to their children’s need. In the article, it was mention that children felt hurt when their mum or dad fails to pay attention on them instead they spend more time on their devices. This is also a sign of bad listening. Parents do no realized that their action would eventually ruin the bonding between themselves and their children.

Example of Parents Not Listening to their Children

That's all for now. Hope you enjoy reading this post. I conclude this post with a few tips of becoming effective listener.

TIPS

Improving Interpersonal Relationships

Hi, it's me again. Hope I did not bore you down with my previous post. I know it looks dry with too many words. I am a person who is not so creative so reading my blog can be quite tedious but I will try my best to make it more interesting.

A few days back, I have come across an interesting topic in Organizational Communications class. The topic is IMPROVING INTERPERSONAL RELATIONSHIPS. It is fascinating to learn the four types of communication styles each person might posses. The four communication styles are Closed, Blind, Hidden, and Open. Interested to know what style are you using? Try this survey and you will know!

Direction

Answer each of the following questions by circling a number from 1 to 10 that represents how true or false each statements is to you.

Questions

1) I feel more comfortable around things than people.

False 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 True

2) To keep the peace, I usually give in.

False 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 True

3) I find that I'm usually right on most issues.

False 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 True

4) I make sure that my opinions are known.

False 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 True

5) It's important to me that people like me; if they don't, I feel very uncomfortable.

False 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 True

6) I usually withhold my opinions until I know what other people think.

False 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 True

7) I like almost all of the people I meet.

False 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 True

8) Working on teams is fun and effective.

False 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 True

Scoring

Add the points from questions 7 and 8: total= Open

Add the points from questions 5 and 6: total= Hidden

Add the points from questions 3 and 4: total= Blind

Add the points from questions 1 and 2: total= Closed

*Your largest total represents the communication style you use when things are going smoothly. The next largest total ( or two totals if the scores are very close) are the styles you jump back to under stress.

*This survey is taken from Communicating for Results textbook.

Here are descriptions of Closed, Blind, Hidden, Open Communicator:

A) Closed Style

• Productive when allowed to work alone
• Uncomfortable around people
• Seldom communicates expectations
• Motivated by anxiety or fear
• Avoids conflict

CLOSED!

B) Blind Style

• Seen as authoritarian and demanding
• Motivated by over self-confidence
• Usually experienced and knowledgeable
• Handles conflict by force

BLIND!

C) Hidden Style

• Prefers a social environment
• Motivated by mistrust or need to please
• Disclose only positives expectations or opinions
• Smooth over conflict
• Good listener

HIDDEN!

D) Open Style

• Seen as a team communicator
• Motivated by confidence and like of people
• Often too open and/ or open too soon
• Uses problem-solving to handle conflict
• Communicates expectations

OPEN!

~ Ends ~

Organizational Communication

Good evening people, here I am for the second post. First of all, let me ask you some questions. How many of you have worked in an organization before? Organization meaning social unit of people, systematically arranged and managed to meet goals on a continuing basis. All organizations have a management structure that determines relationships between functions and positions, roles and responsibilities. Examples, working as a lecturer in SEGi College or working as an insurance sales consultant for Great Eastern are working for organizations. I am pretty sure most of you do have such experiences. However, are you aware that actually working in any organization involves both formal and informal communication? I shall explain briefly the difference between formal and informal communication in steps with examples based on my previous working experience.

Three Types of Formal Communication:

1) Downward Communication

• Definition: Messages are passed down from employer to employee. Employer is the one who gives instructions and the employee would be at the receiving end.
• Example : I worked as a temporary primary teacher before. Obviously, the headmaster is my boss and I would follow his instructions accordingly.

2) Upward Communication

• Definition: Messages flow upward from employee to employer. Employer could present reports, opinions, ideas, feelings, and problems to his/her employer.
• Example : As a temporary teacher, I have never been trained. Hence, I bound to encounter problems especially while teaching pupils. I then would seek advice from the headmaster regarding my problems for solutions.

3) Horizontal Communication

• Definition: Messages flow between people of the same rank.
• Example : In my case, the other teachers in my workplace are my colleagues. We are at the same rank of position, hence we communicate in a horizontal manner during working hours.

Informal Communication:

• Definition: Informal communication is an informal network. It is also known as The Grapevine. Informal communication indicates concerns that would be voiced out in a formal meeting. Informal communication can occur among employees during lunch time or after work time where they discuss (gossip) about matters happening inside their company.
• Examples: I would go out for lunch or dinner with the other teachers and talk about our boss who is demanding and selfish as well as other stuffs.

Hopefully, my brief explanations have granted you rough understanding of what formal and informal communication are. I shall continue with the five main organizational models which have been introduced by theorists. Different models are used by different organizations. It is up to you to think and choose which model is more suitable and appropriate to keep a company running well.

Five Types of Organizational Model:

1) Traditional Model

~Background:

• Also known as Classical model
• Introduced by Taylor, Fayol and Web
• Focusing more on how to reduce production costs then the workers

~Employees:

• Expected to work like machines in order to maximize production
• Cannot voice out to stand for themselves but to follow orders accordingly
• Those who fail to achieve what they are expected to do will not be rewarded

~Employers:

• Always think that they are superior
• Unfriendly with workers to show they are in control, otherwise workers will take advantage
• They think employees are basically lazy and therefore need to be guarded

*Disadvantage: Workers are treated like machine

2) Human Relations Models

~Background

• Initiated by Mayo and Barnard
• Pay fully attention with the social and psychological needs of employees

~Employees:

• Given tender loving care
• They would perform well if they are treated well
• Supported well by supervisors

~Employers:

• Would convince workers that they are important members of the company
• Treating the workers nicely to them is vital and could result in a more productive employee
• An organization should be like ''one happy family''

*Disadvantage: Workers tend to take advantage and grow lazy.

3) Human Resource Model:

~Background:

• Founded by McGregor, Likert, Blake and Miles
• Focus on workers and management as both are essential

~ Employees:

• Given certain goals for them to achieve
• Will motivate themselves by allowing them to participate in decision making
• Get well treated but in a more balance way

~Employers:

• Think that workers can maximize their potential by setting goals for them
• Flexible, allow workers to make mistakes
• Allowing workers to involve in problem-solving in order to develop their potential

4) Systems Model

~Background

• Introduced by Katz
• Concerned with the organization as a whole
• There is no single or best way to manage an organization
• Any of the models used could be successful depending on the internal and external factors
• Anyone in the organization can affect the entire organization

* Managers and employees must take note that every part of the organization is interdependant and affecting each other.

5) Transformational Model

~Background

• Introduced by Poole
• Concern with IT and flexibility in management
• In order to compete in global markets, flexibility is more essential than large organization
• Most communication occurs through the Internet and video-conferences
• Operates in different business units, smaller units and faster compared to bureaucratic structure

*Encourage to use all five models as each has its best way to do things, and each has its strength and weaknesses. However, transformational model suits the current global market better.

That is all for I want to say about organizational communication. Hope, you will find this post informative. Would come up with the following post soon.

Self-introduction

Hello people, thank you for dropping by. Here, I include a short introduction about myself. I am Catherine Chew and turning twenty-three this year. I was born in Sabah but bred in Johor. I am the only child and live with my parents. Being the only child in my family, I am blessed with proper care and love. Although there are many advantages to be the only child but that does not mean I am free to do anything, there are restrictions as well. I could converse in English, Mandarin, Malay and Hokkien. As I came from a Chinese background family, hence I communicate mostly in Mandarin.

Some people would think those who are born as the only child can be introvert as they are mostly alone without any sibling to communicate with but in my case I am an extrovert I would say. I admit that I cannot stand loneliness or being alone without friends. I will get depressed if I am closed up all by myself at home. Therefore I always meet up with friends and hanging out with them. I like to chat and share our thoughts and feelings with each other. Moreover, I am more than happy to lend my listening ears to my peers when they need someone to talk to.

Currently, I am studying in Segi College Kota Damansara. I am majoring in Communication under the American Degree Program. The reason I have chosen Communication is because I hope to be an editor or journalist in future. I know it is tough to pursue my dream but I will try my best. I do not want to disappoint my parents and other family members because they have high expectation of me. Not only that, I hope to become a more responsible, confident, hardworking, thoughtful and successful person.

Here ends the part of introducing myself. I would come up with more posts sooner or later. I hope I could entertain all of you with my write-up and do leave comments if you wish as I would be happy to read them. Thank you.